Man And Women :

 

"One day, men will understand what women have been living with for generations: most women are not designed to start love from nothing and drag it into existence. They are designed to respond to what is offered. A woman’s heart is not a machine you switch on with compliments, and her devotion is not a prize you receive for simply wanting it. She becomes more open, more giving, more tender when she is met with steady care. She becomes guarded when she is met with inconsistency. That is not manipulation. That is self-preservation.

A woman can love deeply and still require proof. Not proof in grand speeches, not proof in last-minute gifts, but proof in the ordinary, unglamorous moments where character is revealed. She watches whether you keep your word when there is nothing to gain. She watches whether your kindness stays present when you are stressed, tired, or annoyed. She watches whether you make space for her feelings, or punish her for having them. She watches whether you ask for closeness, then disappears the moment she reaches for you. And she learns, quietly, whether your love is real, or only convenient.

Too many men want the benefits of a devoted woman without the responsibility of being a devoted man. They want her loyalty while they keep their options. They want her softness while they speak to her with sharpness. They want her body while they refuse her heart. They want her to behave like a wife while they refuse to behave like a partner. They want her to carry the emotional weight, to manage the connection, to remember everything, to repair everything, and to remain sweet through it all. Then they act confused when her sweetness stops tasting like sugar and starts tasting like exhaustion.

A woman does not break because she is weak. She breaks because she has been strong in the wrong place for too long. She has held her tongue to avoid conflict, edited her needs to avoid being called demanding, and swallowed her tears so she does not look “too much”. She has stayed up late trying to explain herself in a way that you will not twist. She has waited for the phone to light up, waited for the apology to arrive, waited for the plans to become real, waited for you to mean what you said. She has made excuses for you in rooms you were not even in. She has defended you in her own mind while your actions kept proving her wrong.

Men often say they want peace, but what they really want is silence. They do not want a calm relationship; they want a woman who does not ask questions. They want the comfort of her presence without the discomfort of accountability. They want her to trust them while they behave in ways that demand suspicion. They want her to feel secure while they keep her guessing. They want her to relax while they keep moving the ground beneath her feet. Then when she becomes careful, they call her “cold”, as if she was born that way, as if her caution did not come from being disappointed by the same pattern, again and again.

A woman does not fall for words. She may smile at them, she may want to believe them, but she does not give her deepest self to language that is not backed by living. Words are easy when they cost nothing. Effort costs time, humility, attention, restraint, patience, and consistency. Effort means you show up when it is inconvenient. You check in without being prompted. You do not leave her to do all the emotional labour and then blame her for feeling lonely. You do not let her feel single while she is taken. You do not treat commitment like a favour you might grant if she performs well enough.

Real love arrives when she feels safe, seen, and consistently chosen. Safe means she can speak without fear that her honesty will be used against her later. Safe means she is not punished for her emotions. Seen means you notice her, not only her beauty, but her burdens, her effort, her quiet sacrifices, her changing moods, her tiredness. Consistently chosen means you do not keep her in a cycle of closeness and distance, affection and absence, promises and delays. It means she does not have to earn basic respect. It means she is not constantly proving she is worthy of being treated well.

This is where the heartbreak lives: most women do not stop loving because they stop feeling. They stop because they stop believing. They stop because they have tried every version of communication, every tone, every approach, every compromise, and nothing changes. They stop because they realise they are in a relationship with someone who wants to be loved more than he wants to love. They stop because they cannot keep stretching themselves thinner to reach someone who refuses to step forward. They stop because they are tired of being the only one who acts like there is something to lose.

A woman’s loyalty is not free. Her softness is not automatic. Her patience is not endless. She gives those things when she is cared for, protected, and valued. When she is met with half-effort, her heart does something many men do not notice until it is too late: it begins to close, quietly. Not with a dramatic exit, not with shouting, but with small retreats. She laughs a little less. She shares a little less. She asks for less because asking has only made her feel ashamed. She stops reaching because reaching has only made her feel alone.

If you want more love, be more loving. If you want trust, be trustworthy. If you want a woman who is gentle with you, be gentle with her. If you want her to commit, show her you are safe to commit to. Lead with clarity, care, and consistency, and you will receive a kind of devotion that cannot be faked. But if you want her to chase you while you offer confusion, if you want her to pour into you while you keep your hands in your pockets, then accept what follows: one day she will stop trying, not because she never cared, but because she finally cared for herself.

She is not withholding. She is waiting. Waiting for a man to understand that love is not something you demand, it is something you build. Waiting for someone to stop asking for the full version of her while offering only fragments of himself. Waiting for the effort that does not arrive only when she is half out of the door. And when she realises she is still building alone, she will put down the bricks, wipe her face, and walk away with a quiet grief that will stay with you longer than any argument ever did. Because the most painful thing is not losing her anger. She is losing hope."

| Zeeshan Afzal | .. | ذیشان افضل |